The_Basilisk
04 Apr 2005, 04:38
For all those who think it’s only aim that’s affected when playing on 56k, here’s a little demonstration of just how annoying this connection speed really is.
Nick and I were playing innocently on the SGS2 duel server, when suddenly I noticed that the armour spawn time was completely FCUKed :/// Of course, when you have the impeccable timing skills that I do, you hardly need to prove your claims, a simple "WTF AMROUR TIME FUXX0rED!@#!# LOL" will do –but for the purpose of this demonstration, I decided to give evidence from the demo which I so cleverly recorded. For those of you who don’t know, the 100 armour spawn in UT2K4 is 54.6 seconds. In order to calculate the next spawn time, you add five seconds to the second counter on the clock, or six if the armour is picked up just before the second ticks over.
This particular game began just like any other, except that Nick took a two frag lead before the first armour time. Usually I frag him first because I am so 1336, but WHAT LUCK!!!11 :/
We met at the armour, where I expertly snuck in and grabbed it at exactly 14:33 on the clock:
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image76.jpg
Nick proceeded to kill me straight after that, but that was just because he got lucky. ZOMG wattanoob ROFL!@#!# :/
Adding 5 seconds to the clock, the next spawn time should have been 13:38, and, sure enough, the armour appeared at 13:38:
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image77.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image78.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image79.jpg
During that time, Nick had somehow managed to luck out again and had gone another frag up!@# But that was all right because I knew the next armour was going to spawn at exactly 12:43 and I was going to kick his bitch ass when he came to get it!
And when I got to the armour room, what did I find but Nick sitting there waiting for it:
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image80.jpg
"BWahahahHHAeHAEHaaa", I thought to myself, "the n00b is early! Watch me rape him with shock combos!!!@#13oneoneone"
But then, to my horror, the armour spawned! At 12:45 on my clock! – a full two seconds too early! WHTF??!@#??
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image81.jpg
Completely stunned, I miscalculated my attack and Nick picked up the armour then got his shield out in time to block my combo ://///
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image82.jpg
When you’re a pro-gamer like me and JohnathanFatal1yWendel, you practise practise practise and so a little thing like this doesn’t phase you. You’re too tough for that! Vraaagh!@# So I dominated Nick to take back a frag and knew that the game was in my hands because the next armour was going to spawn at 12:50.
But the armuor decided to give me the finger again and spawned a second early at 11:51, allowing Nick to crawl in with his am4zing luck LMAO !@#!# and steal it from me! AsdfjSDJ!#$WE(QR)!)
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image83.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image84.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image85.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image86.jpg
Now, even when you have superior 1338 skill like me, you get pissed off at things like this, so I did what any pro-gamer would have done – I threw my mouse against the wall and kicked over my chair!@#!# LOL!
I was so pissed off that I missed the next spawn, but that was okay because so did Nick :DDDDDD But he remembered about it before I did (WHAT LUCK!@#) and picked it up at 10:51 as you can see here:
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image87.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image88.jpg
Still keeping my cool (amazingly), I calculated the next armour spawn time to be 09:56, or at the ABSOLUTE EARLIEST 09:57. I was there on the floor this time, expecting the bullshit, and sure enough, the bullshit was manifest! It spawned at 09:58 (WHICH IS IMPOSISBLE LOL):
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image89.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image90.jpg
After that I was too frustrated to play anymore, so I gracefully conceded the game and praised my opponent like a true sportsman:
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image91.jpg
So 56k sucks, we all knew that, but according to our expert findings it actually sucks more than anything has ever sucked before! And yet I can still own n00bs with ADSL! ROFLMAO!!!?!#???!@!!!!111
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image92.jpg
Note: Obviously the tone of this story is intended to be humourous, but everything timing-related that was described actually happened. The demo is located at www.team42.za.net/wtf/wtf.zip - The_Basilisk.
Nick and I were playing innocently on the SGS2 duel server, when suddenly I noticed that the armour spawn time was completely FCUKed :/// Of course, when you have the impeccable timing skills that I do, you hardly need to prove your claims, a simple "WTF AMROUR TIME FUXX0rED!@#!# LOL" will do –but for the purpose of this demonstration, I decided to give evidence from the demo which I so cleverly recorded. For those of you who don’t know, the 100 armour spawn in UT2K4 is 54.6 seconds. In order to calculate the next spawn time, you add five seconds to the second counter on the clock, or six if the armour is picked up just before the second ticks over.
This particular game began just like any other, except that Nick took a two frag lead before the first armour time. Usually I frag him first because I am so 1336, but WHAT LUCK!!!11 :/
We met at the armour, where I expertly snuck in and grabbed it at exactly 14:33 on the clock:
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image76.jpg
Nick proceeded to kill me straight after that, but that was just because he got lucky. ZOMG wattanoob ROFL!@#!# :/
Adding 5 seconds to the clock, the next spawn time should have been 13:38, and, sure enough, the armour appeared at 13:38:
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image77.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image78.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image79.jpg
During that time, Nick had somehow managed to luck out again and had gone another frag up!@# But that was all right because I knew the next armour was going to spawn at exactly 12:43 and I was going to kick his bitch ass when he came to get it!
And when I got to the armour room, what did I find but Nick sitting there waiting for it:
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image80.jpg
"BWahahahHHAeHAEHaaa", I thought to myself, "the n00b is early! Watch me rape him with shock combos!!!@#13oneoneone"
But then, to my horror, the armour spawned! At 12:45 on my clock! – a full two seconds too early! WHTF??!@#??
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image81.jpg
Completely stunned, I miscalculated my attack and Nick picked up the armour then got his shield out in time to block my combo ://///
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image82.jpg
When you’re a pro-gamer like me and JohnathanFatal1yWendel, you practise practise practise and so a little thing like this doesn’t phase you. You’re too tough for that! Vraaagh!@# So I dominated Nick to take back a frag and knew that the game was in my hands because the next armour was going to spawn at 12:50.
But the armuor decided to give me the finger again and spawned a second early at 11:51, allowing Nick to crawl in with his am4zing luck LMAO !@#!# and steal it from me! AsdfjSDJ!#$WE(QR)!)
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image83.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image84.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image85.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image86.jpg
Now, even when you have superior 1338 skill like me, you get pissed off at things like this, so I did what any pro-gamer would have done – I threw my mouse against the wall and kicked over my chair!@#!# LOL!
I was so pissed off that I missed the next spawn, but that was okay because so did Nick :DDDDDD But he remembered about it before I did (WHAT LUCK!@#) and picked it up at 10:51 as you can see here:
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image87.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image88.jpg
Still keeping my cool (amazingly), I calculated the next armour spawn time to be 09:56, or at the ABSOLUTE EARLIEST 09:57. I was there on the floor this time, expecting the bullshit, and sure enough, the bullshit was manifest! It spawned at 09:58 (WHICH IS IMPOSISBLE LOL):
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image89.jpg
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image90.jpg
After that I was too frustrated to play anymore, so I gracefully conceded the game and praised my opponent like a true sportsman:
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image91.jpg
So 56k sucks, we all knew that, but according to our expert findings it actually sucks more than anything has ever sucked before! And yet I can still own n00bs with ADSL! ROFLMAO!!!?!#???!@!!!!111
http://www.team42.za.net/wtf/image92.jpg
Note: Obviously the tone of this story is intended to be humourous, but everything timing-related that was described actually happened. The demo is located at www.team42.za.net/wtf/wtf.zip - The_Basilisk.